I feel ~ so I AM ...

It is not about the Meaning of Life ; it is about the Feeling of Life ~

... and there I was - there I've been - in search of "meaning" ...
there's meaning in it all - in everything - I need not look for that ~ it's a given ~

the whole clue now became, to Feel all ...
to accept all that I feel, to embrace it and grow through it ~
Endless questions again - someone once told me "I am a question" , so this is then not so strange.
Where do you go with "feelings" ??
What do you do with them ? How do you ... ?

if this present feeling is one of pain - or sorrow - or anger - or anxiety
is it a "thought ? is it "feeling" ? or "emotion" ? ...
I slip through the net, get lost in its meshes, fall through the loopholes to find myself
entangled in again a new point of view where many different pathways meet ?

~ sometimes the veil between this world, and the Other world ,
is too thin , and I float between them ~ wondering about feelings and thoughts ~

'cause this seems to be the way of Life- Changes rip you off one road and throw you down on another one;
sometimes by choice, sometimes by accident; either it's a test, or a hell of an education ~
'cause it is - in the end- always about "feelings" ...

I FEEL , so I AM ... !

The next chapter~ Mastermind ?

the next chapter - mastermind ?

"Words sometimes fail their purpose
or their means -
or sometimes words are not the way to initiate the game-
yet a border - in themselves, by themselves, the obstacle ~
may be the walls need not be worked on-
just the feeling behind the wall ... or the thoughts ... or the belief that upholds our chains ...
a frame within which the mind bounces , sets off, then catapults itself back -
into the safe unsafeties we know , the familiarities , a dangerous security ?
this battlefield of fully explored - and even mastered- stakes
the word too poor a pawn -
check-mate ?"

~ Nights like this I sit and write
every second, a word takes flight ~
some stop to match - the gatekeeper's clear
most leap away - a keyholder's fear
need to fill up and enter the code,
all of their turbulence in a world it wrote
yet mornings will come and languages cease
feel freedom of Self , and Inner Peace ~
(krekel, her 4Wolf)